* m3MoR|eS *
* jEss *
* ErIc *
* ShEeNa *
* ChoOnLim *
* CiYu *
* KC *
* DeRrY *
* KelVin *
* NicOle *
* JoHnNy *
* dAnIeL *
* DaNnY *
* WaNFeRn *
* KiAnHui *
* DaNcEsPOrtS *
* bLogGeR *
* bLogSkIns *
~*[aRcH|v3s
December 2004'January 2005'March 2005'April 2005'May 2005'June 2005'July 2005'August 2005'September 2005'October 2005'November 2005'
I dunno.. been feeling lost again.. dunno wat i want in life.. dunno who i m anymore.. i look so strong.. bt i m nt.. i am jz so fragile.. bt who realli noes? so many things i need to do.. need to take care of.. need to settle them fast.. so many things.. i realli dunno hw im gonna cope.. will i actually be able to survive thru? it's so tough.. i wanna cry.. wanna breakdown n juz haf a gd cry.. mayb i'll feel better after tt.. mayb.. juz mayb.. mayb it mite work.. mayb it mite not.. i dunno.. so many doubts... so many questions... suddenly.. i feel so insecured.. so many mood swings.. the lil things i usually dun flare up at.. all of a sudden.. im flaring up at slightest things.. getting so easily irritated.. no.. it's nt pms.. i dun usually get so worked up during pms.. so many things tt's running thru my head every moment.. im so tired jz thinking of them.. things i noe i ought to let go.. bt sth in mi refuse to.. suicidal tots crosses my mind nw n then.. i see no hope in everything.. i dunno.. im so lost.. so helpless.. slping late every nite.. hoping my body will juz give up.. fall sick.. i dunno..
_w|sHiNgf0rYoU_
_w|sHiNgf0rYoU_
_w|sHiNgf0rYoU_
_w|sHiNgf0rYoU_
_w|sHiNgf0rYoU_
_w|sHiNgf0rYoU_
_w|sHiNgf0rYoU_
_w|sHiNgf0rYoU_
1:11 AM
i shed a tear as i walked out of ur sight.. i held back the tears tt were threatening to fall.. bt failed the moment i heard our song.. i was the one who chose to let go.. im oso the one who's finding it hard to let go.. i so wanted to hug u when i saw u... to hold u close once more.. bt i din haf the courage to do so.. i din even haf the courage to say 'hi' n 'bye'.. nt even 'thank you'.. i owe u so much..
1:11 AM
*I stare at our pics crying.. both tears of joy n pain.. i wonder wat i've done to u.. wonder wat in the world happened to u..we may nt b together nw.. bt i still care.. i still wanna know hw u're doing.. n wat u're doing does affect mi.. thou i may nt voice it out.. cox i no longer haf the rights.. bt it hurts still.. Baby.. plz wake up..*
2:01 PM
in my darkened room
listening to the rain
just cant help but wonder...
What have i done
to cause so much pain
to see the tears roll down your face
while i can only watch on in vain
I know i have hurt u bad
time again and again
Hoping u will leave me
each time i made u sad
Yet u nv did do so
u held on till the end
Hoping we'll stay together
till we both grow old
I'm sorry i cant hold on
im sorry i cant be the one
to stay with u till the end
to hold on till the day u're gone
I thank you so much
for the wonderful memories u gave
for they'll always stay
rite here in my heart
Shud the day come
and i gotta give up my life for yours
i just want u to know
i'll do so without questions or regrets
For u stayed true
and gave your all to me
Baby im sorry i hurt you
becox i choose to leave
*Im sorry baby.. i juz want u to noe.. tt no matter wat happens.. u'll be my one n only baby.. no one can ever change this.. u'll always be my blessing.. Im sorry i chose to leave..*
4:16 AM
so sickening.. fri-mon all booked by smc.. -.- 1 member getting married.. so gt convoy for him.. *jealous* when i marry, i oso want convoy!! so wu seh lo.. hahaha..imagine a 30+ car strong convoy juz for u on ur wedding.. WoW! *drools* haha.. ok.. bt then ar.. stupid convoy so freaking earli la!!! 0630hrs muz reach!!!! *faints* haha.. dunno wat else to post la.. brain dead.. need a break man..
oh ya! guess wat?! MY MUMMY LIKES JO!!! wth... think he gave her some drugs sia.. *looks at bb* rite? u gave my mum some drugs to make her like u rite.. u sneaky piggy.. muackx!
11:52 PM
11:55 PM
Together with Jer, we went TPY (central) cox Jer wanna open a bank a/c.. ma huan~ then Nana bought her printer ink cartridge.. cox we oso going to haf our hair cut n dyed ma.. so decided tt getting some comics wud be ideal.. haha.. gt 2 Archie Comics Double Digest.. lol.. ya.. i dun understand chinese.. so din get those chinese comics la.. then had lunch at the HDB hub food court at the basement..
Took bus 8 to somewhere in Bedok (east) for our hair cut.. Jer tagged along cox he going for his driving lesson at 1435hrs.. reached the place tt we're getting our hair cut at abt 1330hrs (i think) then waited awhile.. cox i din noe wat style i wanna cut.. so nana went first.. dyed her hair too.. haha.. i took super long to get my hair done la.. it was abt 1815hrs-1830hrs when we're finally done.. actually Nana was done like super long ago.. bt she stayed to acc mi.. Thanks ger.. appreciated it.. =) My haircut+dye onli $30 lo!!1 Cheap not!! Lolx.. first time it's so cheap la.. normally i dye already like over $50.. *rolls eyes* i think im like gonna go back to her for any colouring of hair la.. lolx.. then acc Nana back to her place for her to change as she was going to meet a fren at Tamp..
We shared a cab where she let mi alight at Baby's place.. then somemore gt stupid jam la.. n Baby stays Nana too.. imagine when i reach baby's place, the meter was abt $10!!! wth~ Blahx.. told baby i was meeting him abt 3+.. cox i tot i wun take so long de ma.. then want to acc him study de.. in the end.. i reach after 7pm.. -.- sorry baby.. *puppy eyes* bu shi gu yi de k.. heng he nt angry.. haha.. had Fish & Chips for dinner!! the Mayo was yummy.. haha.. *licks lips* then baby's bro entertained mi with his card tricks + dunno wat else la.. quite a num.. made mi feel like a small kid + idiot.. thanks ar baby's bro + baby.. they decreased my IQ by dunno how much la.. i think nw my IQ below zero... =( haha.. bt i hafta admit.. the tricks were gd.. =) slacked arnd til abt 2230hrs then i left for hm (central).. took cab hm.. baby kept mi company on the phone.. =) thanks honey.. mUacKx! ok.. so nw.. my hairstyle suckx la.. cox the fringe like super short.. n my wavy-ness come back le.. wth~ dun like dun like.. *shakes head* *wonders if salons provide rebonding for fringe onli* lolx.. over all nt bad la.. except for fringe.. Nana n baby both said it's ok.. bt i still feel so paranoid over it.. Haha.. new hair cut ma.. some more it's qiao-ing!! Urgh.. *disgusted*
ok.. let's look back.. i 'flew' from central to east to west to central to east to central.. cool.. n i din haf any nap in between.. slept for onli 3hrs the night be4.. then wake up n started the day le.. *phew* tiring.. haha..
*I miss Mummy~* *sObX sObX*
2:42 AM
Today... HGD pract.. n Maths pract.. screwed maths.. HGD.. mite be able to pass.. dissect tt sickening Drosophila Larvae.. tt's the fruitfly u get if u buy bananas n let it stand for a day or 2.. ya.. tt disgusting fly thingy.. ya.. i pulled tt damn larva apart juz to get the salivary glands for the lecturer's viewing pleasure so he can grade us.. wat the~ muz get rid of those adipose tissues arnd the glands too.. tough! removed most of the adipose tissues bt gave up cox i was afraid i broke the glands again... u see.. they r in pairs.. tt stupid kuku wants to see it intact(in pairs).. if i persist n try to remove ALL adipose tissue, i'll most prob break the glands.. then i gotta start on a new larvae.. n we're onli allowed to use 3!! the one tt i showed the lecturer was the 2nd larvae.. my 1st wasnt a total failure.. i got the glands out.. bt when i try to clear the adipose tissue, the whole god-damned thing clumped up n stuck onto my tweezers!! gross! blahx~ n becox we ended maths practical earlier, we had like approx 7hrs to spare be4 HGD pract, all of us went hm to nap.. lolx.. even sheena ng who stays in PASIR RIS!! ok.. nt all of us napped.. bt most did.. =p went down to Cineleisure to look for baby after practical.. watched Herbie!! So cute!!! i so wanna drive Herbie la.. *dreams* *snaps back to reality* ok.. nonetheless, it's funny.. n cute.. n.. n... n.. i can go on forever~ simply love Herbie!! Ok.. baby.. dun jealous.. he's juz a car~ lolx.. noe wat i enjoyed most? it's being with u dear.. =) love being in ur arms.. holding ur hand.. staring into ur eyes.. stealing kisses from u =x n most of all, RUBBING UR TUMMY!!! Heex.. =x i cant imagine life without u.. & baby.. Thanks for shielding from those horrible dust coming from the road works.. LoVe U sO mUcH!! mUAcKX!
11:19 PM
.Tiffany.
.Ngee Ann Poly.
.Biomedical Science.
.4th Sept 87.
~*[hEr LurVeSs..
.Sweets.
.Green Tea.
.My Darling Kitty.
~*[hEr HaTeSs..
.Backstabbers.
.Bitches.
.Fags.
.MYSELF.
~*[hEr WiShLisT..
.tt PINK E530C.
.nice heels as in footwear.
.Summer By Kenzo perfume.
.Lola perfume(found in mama's rm.. nice nice).
.Badminton racket.
.RollerBlades.
.Bicycle.
.Rebond/Perm my hair.
.Go for FACIALS.
.Get rid of those darn eye bags & dark rings.
.My 2 darlings to live in harmony & quit fighting everyday.