Lost...

I dunno.. been feeling lost again.. dunno wat i want in life.. dunno who i m anymore.. i look so strong.. bt i m nt.. i am jz so fragile.. bt who realli noes? so many things i need to do.. need to take care of.. need to settle them fast.. so many things.. i realli dunno hw im gonna cope.. will i actually be able to survive thru? it's so tough.. i wanna cry.. wanna breakdown n juz haf a gd cry.. mayb i'll feel better after tt.. mayb.. juz mayb.. mayb it mite work.. mayb it mite not.. i dunno.. so many doubts... so many questions... suddenly.. i feel so insecured.. so many mood swings.. the lil things i usually dun flare up at.. all of a sudden.. im flaring up at slightest things.. getting so easily irritated.. no.. it's nt pms.. i dun usually get so worked up during pms.. so many things tt's running thru my head every moment.. im so tired jz thinking of them.. things i noe i ought to let go.. bt sth in mi refuse to.. suicidal tots crosses my mind nw n then.. i see no hope in everything.. i dunno.. im so lost.. so helpless.. slping late every nite.. hoping my body will juz give up.. fall sick.. i dunno..

i shed a tear as i walked out of ur sight.. i held back the tears tt were threatening to fall.. bt failed the moment i heard our song.. i was the one who chose to let go.. im oso the one who's finding it hard to let go.. i so wanted to hug u when i saw u... to hold u close once more.. bt i din haf the courage to do so.. i din even haf the courage to say 'hi' n 'bye'.. nt even 'thank you'.. i owe u so much..